Why I decided not to make what I love a full-time job
As a child, we’ve all racked up a dozen different professions we wanted to pursue as a child. Acting. Music. Writing. Medicine. Astronomy. Yeah, I was the kid who wanted to pursue astronomy until I realised it was fundamentally physics (which I sucked at).
But sooner or later, most of us would have a select few we’ll fall back on, to pursue as hobbies. For me, it was singing. If you were my neighbour, you’d hate me. I’ll sing anytime, but not anywhere — it has got to be the bathroom. I live in a high-rise apartment, and my bathroom faces the side balcony, where everyone does their laundry, hangs their clothes and also, yes, listen to my shrieking anytime from 6 to 11pm.
I’ve never been a fantastic singer, but I’ve never been terrible either. Like with most things in my life, I’m an average Jill. I always considered long and hard about whether it would be worth it to throw down all the privileges that I have been living with and go forth to “pursue my passion”. Over the years, I’ve thought long and hard about what I should do for a living, and I’ve decided to share some of my takeaways and considerations here:
1. Not every passion can be capitalised on. Sometimes, doing so takes away the sheer joy and pure bliss you derive from it.
Social media has a trend of perpetuating messages, and many of these messages are a one size fits all. That you’re not slim enough, not cool enough. If you’ve ever clicked on some of the motivational speeches on Instagram, you’ll also be bombarded with new content blaring the message “MAKE YOUR PASSION YOUR FULL-TIME JOB”.
As if being your own boss is the best thing that will ever happen to you. As if a 9–5 means that you’re a loser and a coward for not pursuing the path less trodden.
The “be your own boss” message can be feverishly exciting, and the energy gotten from inspiring entrepreneurs like Gary Vaynerchuk is so contagious. Watching those videos must have made many people, including me, to doubt their 9 to 5 choices.
If you’ve struggled time and again to find how to make a living from some of your passions, it may be because you’re looking at it the wrong way. Maybe your passion is something that you fully enjoy when you’re alone, and not something you necessarily want to share with anyone else. Maybe your passion is something you do in order to destress, and doing it as a full-time job may bring about more stresses than you can handle.
Singing to me is pure enjoyment when I’m alone. For me, it’s a form of expression, an avenue of self-improvement, and a medium to destress. I enjoy trying to improve my technique just so that I can sing my favourite songs. I, for a long time, had envisioned singing in front of a crowd. I’ve thought about joining competitions, tried joining a-cappella clubs, but the stresses and stage fright experienced from singing in front of a crowd took away my joy for the longest time. I liked singing, but I didn’t like to share my music; music was deeply personal, it was a form of expression and a de-stressor that I would like to keep to myself.
Maybe you love gardening, and sure, it is possible to earn some side income when you’re helping to take care of your neighbour’s plants, or start your own business selling some of your potted favourites. But it’s always worth asking yourself, “Is this something I like to do alone, and purely for the sake of it?” All of us deserve some peace and quiet to do the things we treasure in our own little world.
2. It is possible to be average at something you love, and you don’t have to force a business out of it
Average has become the taboo word in a world that constantly asks to you strive for more, for better. It tells you that if you’re that passionate about something, you’ll have to be extremely good at it. If not, what’s the use of saying that you’re passionate about it?
That mode of thinking is fundamentally flawed. But even I didn’t think it was flawed from the very beginning. If anyone has struggled with self-esteem issues like I did, you’ll probably know it well. I used to fully believe that nothing I did was my passion, because I wasn’t good at it: every time I would sing/dance in front of others, I’ve always noticed the polite clapping and the looks of “okay, I expected more”. For the longest time, it was obvious that I had no confidence in my abilities, and I even started to question my likes and dislikes.
But learning is a process. Sure, I may not be the star singer or dancer you’ve seen in your entire life, but I’ve learnt that I can be confident in telling my naysayers one thing: I definitely beat your critical ass in terms of the time and determination I dedicate to this craft. So move along!
While you’re working on yourself and thinking about how else to take the leap to hone your skills, you might want to think about finding someone who shares the same passion and is good at it (as of now). Be bold in taking a spin on your hobbies: who says that a person who loves storytelling has to do it in the form of books? Find a friend who’s a scriptwriter, an editor, or a playwriter. Ask them about their experiences, and you’ll probably realise that good storytelling is universal. And that there are many, many more mediums to pursue the thing you love, more than you can ever imagine.
Think about this: if you’re a natural performer and someone who understands the acting/music business, then starting a talent management agency like how Jinyoung Park did for JYP Entertainment in Korea can serve as a blueprint. It all boils down to different perspectives. Think wide, and then think even wider.
3. You still have time — think carefully, don’t rush into transforming your passions into your job
Being realistic. It has almost become a taboo of sorts, telling someone to be realistic. Take a Google search and you’ll see countless articles telling you that “being realistic is the path to mediocrity”, or “how being realistic is ruining your life”.
But what is wrong with being realistic? Being realistic is knowing how slim the chances are, being courageous is knowing fully the realist perspective of the issue and being fully prepared to take calculated, responsible risks.
The guy who dares to throws down everything immediately is just plain rash. It’s not courageous, it’s rash. But I’m not trying to advocate you to plan your execution so carefully that it takes years and years, and eventually amounts to nothing because no action was ever taken. That’s being the over-planner.
The rash dude
- The rash dude finds it addictive to hear all the “drop everything and figure out on the way” messages. The rash dude finds that he gets an adrenaline rush from it, and decides that okay, I’m going to send that resignation letter to my boss now because it’s now or never.
- But what the rash dude does not see is that sure, though he’s pinched down and made that decision, if he hasn’t honed the business acumen and mindset from Day 1 of him planning to quit, then he’s going to have a real hard time not drowning out there.
- The rash dude makes everyone worried because in due time he’ll be dragging his ass back to his families and friends. He’ll be asking for loans to try out his business again, one more failed attempt after another.
- The rash dude needs to know that planning is not a sin. Planning is to prepare the mind for patience — patience to learn, to ask, and to be humble.
The over-planner dude
- The over-planner dude feels that everything (down to the minutes) should be planned, and clenches up whenever there is a major change that ruins those plans. The over-planner dude is patient in waiting till he has all the necessary skills, knowledge, and mindset to get his business running.
- What the over-planner doesn’t realise is that waiting till that day might just be the day before he dies. Or maybe not even till then. The only thing that the over-planner should remember is that there is no limit in the number of things he can learn, no limit in terms of age or experience when it boils down to learning.
- The over-planner dude thinks that he needs to know the 101s of starting a business, but most importantly, just like the rash dude, he needs to know how to prepare his mind, this time not just for patience, but for quiet courage. It takes day-to-day practice to know when to draw the line and to take the leap.
Be bold and realistic, not rash or over-cautious. It’s a fine line thread on, being bold and realistic at the same time. But nothing beats knowing yourself and your hobbies better. It takes true understanding to decide whether your passion and hobbies deserve their own little corner in your world, or something bigger.
